Moving from falling in love to actually being love is a bit like
how the caterpillar transforms into
Transforming into a butterfly
Moving from falling in love to actually being love is a bit like how the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. A caterpillar is happy just soaking up as much nourishment as it possibly can, and then it suddenly feels an urge to encase itself inside a cocoon where it gets kind of stuck. Should it here start to panic, thinking something is wrong, the experience would be quite unpleasant. But the caterpillar trusts the process, and stays inside the cocoon as long as is needed for it to transform into a beautiful butterfly.
It is the same with our relationships. When we fall in love we are deeply nourished, allowing love to reach inside our hearts, where it finds everything that is unlike itself and brings it up to the surface. As that happens we can start to feel disappointed, as it seems as if our previous fairy tale has gone. We are suddenly ‘trapped’ inside a cocoon where all our deep hurt and wounds start to rise up, but instead of realising this is love’s miraculous transformative power at work, causing our ‘stuff ’ to come up to be healed, we think it is something wrong with the relationship, or with our partner. But if we can just have faith that something miraculous is taking place, if we can have the same trust as the caterpillar does that there is an invisible force guiding us forward towards the manifestation of the next best thing – if we can relax in knowing that – then our relationship will eventually have transformed so much inside the cocoon that suddenly it has become a stunning butterfly. And the butterfly is us, transformed, into a more loving, wise being.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship itself will last, because that is not the highest purpose of a relationship – every relationship will change form at some point – instead the highest purpose of each relationship is to help us become more loving, more compassionate and more filled with light, so we can be better aligned with our true nature.
Nature has embedded within
it this natural movement towards expansion
True love expands us
Nature has embedded within it this natural movement towards expansion. A caterpillar doesn’t start to panic or try to exit as it enters this deep transformation process, whilst you and I might start to listen to our minds conjuring up all sorts of negative thoughts and reasons why there is something wrong with what is happening. But this is just our ego talking (the part of us that feels separate from everyone else). The ego’s motto when it comes to love is ‘search for love, but never find it,’ because when the ego finally finds true love it will find faults with it, making sure we won’t recognise real love when it actually enters our life. Why does the ego do this? Because to the ego, love is scary, as love expands us, connecting us with our divine soul; where there is no ego, there is no separation.
Becoming our most loving selves
When we trust love’s transformative power, we become conduits to this invisible force that lifts all of life to its highest manifestation possible in each moment – including our relationships.
Every relationship has embedded within it its highest potential for the most healing expression of love that it can possibly evolve into.
When we choose to let this higher intelligence move through us, which literally means we are letting love move through us, then we infuse our relationship with a magical elixir that helps us view the other person – and ourselves – through our spiritual eyes, instead of our physical eyes.
This helps us see the light in the other person, it helps us trust that everything that happens in our lives helps us to evolve – events are not happening to us, but for us – and as we perceive this, we come to realise that every meeting is a holy encounter where we either get to share our love, or get to notice the areas within us where our love has not yet reached.
When we choose to express love, when we choose to forgive, when we choose to be compassionate, when we choose to see the goodness in the other person, and in ourselves, then we are immediately uplifted to a higher energy and we can feel it. It feels great! It’s like we are coming home to ourselves, which of course is what is happening, because we are coming home to the eternal truth of our soul, which is that you and I are both beings of love, and in that love there is no separation, just oneness.
When we instead choose to open the door leading into the other universe, our energy gets lowered, and we become more negative, anxious, judgemental and worried. The key thing to remember here is that every thought and every action has an effect, so when we engage in negative thinking we’ll get to experience the consequences of our thinking. This is not to punish us, but to help us awaken to the fact that we are now ‘miscreating’ with our ego’s fearful energy – which will cause us pain and conflict. When we are finally ready to act in a different way, we will wake up to the realisation that hey, we can choose the other door!
By choosing the door of love, we step into a universe where we feel positive, uplifted, forgiving, compassionate and loving, and life seems to be filled with miracles and synchronicities. Because our thinking and actions now are infused with love, this leads to positive consequences and we get to experience those effects of our thinking. This is when we are creating with our soul’s loving energy, and it is here we become co-creators with the divine.
Setting the tone for the day
My mind is very active, and because my thoughts come so thick and fast I can quickly spin down in a negative spiral, getting caught in my ego’s fear-based thinking … or I can fly upwards in a positive celebration of life, where I listen to my soul’s loving voice. To help me make love my choice, I have found that I have to exercise my spiritual muscles every morning – by meditating, praying, practising yoga and chanting mantras, and by listening to uplifting seminars from spiritual teachers such as Esther Hicks, Marianne Williamson, Gabrielle Bernstein, Byron Katie and Neale Donald Walsch. This helps me connect with my soul’s loving energy, which sets the tone for the day, and then it is easier for me to live in a loving and miraculous universe – even when life brings me ‘problems’, because now I have love as my guide to help me find a spiritual solution to any situation that occurs. If I don’t meditate and pray, I end up getting caught in negativity and problems. So I have learnt that it is my choice which door I open: the one that leads into a fear-based universe, or the one that takes me into a miraculous universe where I am a co-creator with the divine.
“Today I choose to live in a miraculous universe”