Don't dim your light

The morning after I’d lost my mum, guilt welled up from deep within me, like a giant wave. My mind was racing frantically, finding proof for all my guilt. It totally consumed me.

Erika saw snow for the first time in her life in England, and mum - who grew up in the north of Sweden - thought it was hilarious that all the roads closed down, just because of a little snow. Until she realised all flights were cancelled, and she may not be able to fly back to Stockholm…

Erika saw snow for the first time in her life in England, and mum - who grew up in the north of Sweden - thought it was hilarious that all the roads closed down, just because of a little snow. Until she realised all flights were cancelled, and she may not be able to fly back to Stockholm…

Then my husband gently said to me: ‘Don’t feed the darkness. Remember you are the light, so don’t let the darkness dim your light.’

I could feel the truth in what he said. So I prayed, and surrendered my guilt to Spirit.

And then the miracle happened. It was as if Spirit took each guilty thought and transformed it into love.

As I surrendered the thought, ‘I should have been there more’ Spirit showed me how I had always done my best, that I had been there as much as I could. And mum knew that.

With every thought that I surrendered to Spirit, I was being shown a new way of perceiving. The fear was gently washed away, until only love remained.

Because that was the truth. I loved mum, and she loved me. Nothing else mattered.

So focus on the light. Trust that you are the light, you are love. Don’t let the darkness dim your light. 

BE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

PS. Below is a video which is a talk first on the power of love, and then from 6.16 is a guided healing meditation.

Morning Prayer

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Dear Spirit 
I give this day to You.

Fill my mind with your light, so I can perceive through my spiritual eyes, so I can see what is good, and right and wonderful, so I can focus on the solutions, instead of the problems, so I can say YES when the doors of wonderful opportunities are being presented to me.

Fill me with your wisdom and guide me to how I can best be truly helpful to others. I am ready to open my heart and let you take the lead, so show me what it is you would have me do, where you would have me go, what you would have me say and to whom.

I trust that your guidance will always lead me to 
my highest path.

And so it is.

PS. Below is a guided Morning Prayer.

The Magic is Within You

Did you know that there is a divine intelligence that is present in all of life – including in your body, your mind and your soul? It is this intelligence that causes the stars to shine and the sun to rise, that allows spring to arrive after a long winter – and that knows how to guide life forward so that life can express its highest divine potential in any given moment.

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Everything in life has this divine potential wired into it, so a sunflower seed has within it the divine potential to become a beautiful sunflower and a caterpillar to become a butterfly, and you have wired into you the potential to become the highest expression of yourself that you can possibly be.

You are meant to manifest and express all that you are! And you are meant to give birth to your soul’s longing and desires. Trust that the same magical ingredient that creates worlds also runs through your veins.

If you were to fully trust this Divine Intelligence to guide you forward, what steps would you take today to move closer to the manifestation of your dreams?

PS. Below is a Morning Meditation to help you connect with Spirit.

Only love is real

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ONLY LOVE IS REAL 

Only love is real and everything else is an illusion, but we make that illusion appear real when we believe in it. And we believe in it, every time we choose fear, every time we listen to that frantic, stressed, vicious voice inside, and the more we listen to that voice the more we’ll find proof for why it’s right, causing us to become more and more trapped in this illusion of fear. 
But there is a way to be free from fear, and instead connect with the truth that lives inside your soul – and that is to choose love. But in order to make that journey from fear to love, from darkness to light, from inner turmoil to peace – you have to be willing to ask Spirit for help. You have to be willing to be shown a new way of thinking. You have to be willing to choose peace and happiness, instead of fear and conflict.

And the moment you are willing, and you say to Spirit “Let me choose peace instead of this”, Spirit immediately steps in and starts guiding you in how you can shift your thinking.

Are you a miracle worker?

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Are you a miracle worker?

Every time you get triggered by someone else’s reaction, and you then surrender your own reactive thoughts to Spirit, you start to shift your fear-based perception into truth, so your love can reach even deeper into your consciousness. This transforms you. This heals you. And you then realise that every time you choose peace instead of conflict, you are brought closer and closer to Spirit, to the truth of what is, instead of your ego-mind’s perception of this insane world we live in.

The task of the miracle worker is to NOT believe in the illusion, and to remember that the wounded can heal themselves, because the truth is in them. They just cannot see it because there is a fog that obscures it. But the light in them continues to shine underneath that fog, so your task as a miracle worker is to move past the fog – by realising the fog isn’t real, that it is just an illusion - and by not believing in the fog you give it no power - and then you can swiftly move past it, to the light that is in the other person. 

You do this by first connecting with your own inner light, so your light keeps on shining, guiding you on your journey, and this helps the other person connect with their inner light too, because your light and their light is the same light, since both come from the same Divine Source.

Every time you remember the truth in another, that they have this amazing light shining within them, you are a miracle worker.

How are you using time?

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HOW ARE YOU USING TIME?

Have you ever had the experience of wasting time? As if time is slipping through your fingers? Or perhaps you feel that there never is enough time, so you end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed? How would it be if there was a way for you to step into timelessness, so your life can be filled with miracles instead of tension?

The good news is that there IS a way for you to step into timelessness, and in so doing step into a miraculous universe where anything is possible.

Albert Einstein stated that the dividing line between past, present and future is an illusion. So if time is an illusion, what then is the purpose of it?

According to A Course in Miracles, the purpose of time is to help us learn how to use our experiences constructively by noticing the differences in how we use our time. How does it feel when we waste time? Or when we engage in negative thinking, or focus on how others have wronged us? And how does it feel when we instead use our time to heal our inner wounds, focus on the love that is always available to us and choose to be all that we are meant to be? This is how we can use time to help us expand instead of letting it crush us. How would it be if we were to fill our days with miracles, instead of with tension?

The key to step into timelessness, so you can fill your life with miracles, is to connect with the awareness within, with the eternal YOU – with the you that existed before you came into this physical body, with the you that is as ancient as the mountains, as free as the wind and as light as the sun. The YOU that is as wise as the beginning of time, because that YOU exists outside of time. 
And as you step into that timelessness, you step into the realm of Spirit where everything you ever wanted already exists.

Journey to connect with your soul's wisdom

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JOURNEY TO CONNECT WITH YOUR SOUL'S WISDOM

I’m in awe with the wisdom that lives inside each and every one of us. A wisdom that knows how to guide us from fear to love, from wounded to healed, from feeling stuck to suddenly being able to fly free, trusting that Spirit will guide us to our Highest Path.

I love witnessing the incredible transformation that takes place when we make this inner journey of healing, transforming our old wounds into sources of deep wisdom, a wisdom we later can share with others. Healing isn’t something you just do for yourself, it’s also something you do so you can be of service to others – to your loved ones and to your community. Because the more love you have within, the more love you’ll share with the world, and it’s this love that is the medicine that can transform the darkness into light, fear into love, being stuck to suddenly being able to fly.

This group of beautiful Soul Sisters all held each other in sacred space as they dived into the loving wisdom found in ancient energy medicine, mysticism and shamanic healing, so that they afterwards could emerge with a deeper connection with Source, with Spirit and with their Souls.

Chalice Well Gardens, Glastonbury

Chalice Well Gardens, Glastonbury

Some of them have now finished their 500-hour training with me, to become Master Trainers of Energy Medicine, Mysticism and Shamanic Healing, as well as Advanced Practitioners in Energy Medicine and Soul Coaches. They have journeyed with me to connect more deeply with the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine, experienced their own mystical initiation in magical Glastonbury (where we stayed in Chalice Well Gardens, the Heart Chakra of the world, and went on a spiritual quest up the Tor), being held in a loving embrace by the Black Madonna, learnt how to work with their Spirit Team and trust their connection with Source. They have also participated in amazing Spirit-led trainings, both in Charney Manor in Oxfordshire and in live Group Calls online where they have learnt how to do Soul Retrievals, Destiny Retrievals, Shamanic Healing, Extractions, Healing NLP Linguistics, Higher-Self Healing, Parts Integration, Tracking of Energies (both within the body, into the past and into the future), and much, much more. But above all, they have learnt how to trust Spirit to guide them, instead of the ego-mind.

They are all amazing practitioners and Master Trainers, and I can warmly recommend seeing them for coaching and healing sessions. So if you’d like to connect more deeply with your soul’s wisdom – a wisdom that knows how to guide you to your Highest Path - then trust that they can support you in your healing journey.

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Charney Manor, Oxfordshire

How we suffer when we believe the stories we tell ourselves

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The guilt was coursing through my veins and my mind was filled with regret; ‘It’s too late. You’ve missed your chance.’

I was sitting outside on a warm, sunny autumn day, attempting to meditate. It was a day that was supposed to be filled with celebration, but here I was, crying my eyes out, my heart breaking open.

I had suffered with an inner restlessness for days, avoiding the emotions that wanted to come up and be acknowledged. When I now finally sat down to feel them, they welled up in such intensity it was overwhelming. But I stayed with the process, as I knew I had to face this inner turmoil that was bubbling up to the surface.

In my mind’s eye I was transported back in time to the day when my eldest daughter was born and how, from the moment she looked at me with her piercing blue eyes, my life would never quite be the same. I remember being so surprised that she would calm down with just the sound of my voice or the touch of my hand, and that she even knew instinctively how to breastfeed. She knew how to be a baby, how to have a relationship with me, and I had absolutely no idea how to be a mother.

It dawned on me when she was born that I had no roadmap to follow and no one who could guide me. I had been through a dysfunctional childhood, causing me to leave home when I was 18, to get as far away as possible. I spent five years travelling around Asia, in search of the pieces of myself I had lost when I was growing up. Eventually I learned to love myself enough to be able to be with someone without running away, and I settled down in England. And now, here she was, this beautiful little princess. I was not prepared for the overwhelming love I felt for her, or how I would gladly give up my life to keep her safe. But I had no clue how to best be there for her.

Erika, my mum and me, just before my sister’s wedding and christening of my sister’s eldest daughter (they had both ceremonies at the same time).

Erika, my mum and me, just before my sister’s wedding and christening of my sister’s eldest daughter (they had both ceremonies at the same time).

So I prayed. I prayed to be shown how to be the mother I was meant to be, how to love her the way she needed to be loved. And my prayers were answered. My little one showed me how to be there for her. It was as if she just knew, and the broken pieces in my soul started to mend; I realised that children truly are here to teach us about love, not the other way around. When she was little, there was so much love in the house, so much laughter and happiness, and I felt so lucky to be blessed with this beautiful ray of sunshine. When her sister came along I felt doubly blessed. I thought I had finally cracked the ‘how to be a mother’ code.

Then teenage years came. Nothing could prepare me for this either. My little princess, who once had seen me as one of the most amazing people in the world, now looked at me as if I was something the cat had dragged in. My ego had a problem adjusting to this, and this caused needless frustration and conflict. Of course I was not aware that it was my ego that had a problem with this – I just thought I was ‘right’ and the problem lay elsewhere – until I realised my ego had gotten in the way. So I surrendered and asked the Divine for help. And again the help would come, in the form of insights I needed, to allow happiness to flow again. These insights were different from when my daughter was little. They were more about backing off and trusting that she would find her way. The more I backed off and trusted, the more she relaxed. The moment I became too worried and ‘helpful’, she immediately showed me she did not like it. I could see how this new era in our relationship was providing me with opportunities to heal issues with allowing people to be, and trusting that all would be okay, without my help (or control…).

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And here she was now, 18 years old and ready to leave for her first day at university, to start a new chapter in her life. She was beaming with anticipation and excitement, and I was sitting here crying, because all I could see in my mind’s eye were the moments I could have given more, I could have loved her more, I could have been present more. The regret was overwhelming, because I knew that her childhood had now gone, and our relationship would change forever. Yet at the same time I was so happy for her. She had done so well, she was going to the university of her choice, she had her whole life ahead of her. I knew in my heart she was going to be okay. And that insight lifted my spirits, but I could still feel this inner guilt, so I prayed to the universe for guidance. I surrendered my pain and regret, and asked to be shown what I needed to know so I could be there for my daughter on this very important day of her life.

I went inside the house and was met with the same piercing blue eyes again. She could see that I had been crying. She knew that many mums had been crying as their child went off to university so she wasn’t surprised (one mum had even sat crying her eyes out for hours in the café where my daughter worked). I hugged her and said, ‘I feel I should have been there for you more, I should have been more present.’ She started laughing and said, ‘And I felt you were always there. You were even working from home, so I never got rid of you.’

In that moment I knew my prayer had been answered. This was the insight I needed. I may have felt I should have been there more for my baby girl, but what she needed more from me was space! How amazing is that!

In a flash my guilt and regret were gone, as I realised that they were based on something that was just not true. They were fabrications of my mind, created by fear, causing me to believe the story that I was a bad mother, that I had failed, that I had not given enough, that I should have been with her more. My daughter had instead actually felt I was there too much.

I started laughing at the ludicrousness of it all. How we suffer when we make up stories that we believe are real.

With this insight, it was easy to forgive myself, because there was nothing to forgive – just a thought I had believed to be true.

And with a happy heart I could drive my beautiful daughter to her new life at university.

Let me choose peace

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Let me choose peace

Whenever you feel you are upset about something, say silently within your mind to Spirit:
“Let me choose peace instead of this. I am willing to perceive this differently. I am willing to change my thinking.”
And the very moment you do this, Spirit immediately gets to work, bringing to you the insights and situations you need so you can shift your thinking from fear to love, from doubt to trust, from conflict to peace.

Held by an angel

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Today we said goodbye to our wonderful mum and grandmother. The chapel was situated deep in the forest, surrounded by huge pine trees, with a soft wind blowing through the treetops. And even though my heart felt as if it would break into a thousand pieces, it felt as if a loving presence held us in her arms all throughout the ceremony – as if mum was still there, but now as an angel.

Mum had finally found peace. Lately she had been struggling, but fortunately we could be there, helping her and comforting her. Both I and my sister were by her side as she took her last breath, and even if it was incredibly sad, it was still so beautiful, so filled with love. As if we could give back to her a tiny bit of all the love she had given us throughout our lives.

I feel the loss so completely, so totally, but every time I look at my sister, or my children, or my sister’s children, it is as if I can see a little bit of mum in them. She is always here with us, just no longer in a physical body.

Love you mum, all the way to the moon and back.

For all eternity.

Live as if life is a miracle

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Albert Einstein said, ‘There are two ways of living your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle,
the other is as though everything is a miracle.’

But how can we make that choice?

Many years ago I remember saying to a friend, ‘Will I ever find someone to share my life with?’ I was certain the love train had left my station for good and would never stop there again, as I thought I was now too old ever to meet anyone. I was 28.

Looking back it seems silly, but then the fear was so overpowering it totally consumed me. Four years earlier I had begun a journey of spiritual awakening, releasing layers and layers of fears surrounding love, but yet again I found myself alone. My friend gave me a hug, and said reassuringly, ‘You’ll meet him one day, you’ll see.’ I wasn’t sure she was right, but I decided to believe that miracles could indeed happen, so I let go of my doubt and instead trusted that the universe knew how to make my wish come true, even if I didn’t. Then I went on with living my life.

A few months later I met him. I knew from the beginning that he was ‘the one’. I know it sounds weird, but I did have a voice inside my head saying, ‘That’s your husband.’ We were soon married, with a baby on the way; and life has never been quite the same ever since. That was in 1996.

What I didn’t realise, though, back then when I was 28, was that the easy part is actually finding your soulmate; the harder part is doing the healing that takes place once they enter inside your heart. I used to think that if I healed myself enough then I would attract ‘the one’ into my life, and from that day on we would live happily ever after. I thought that once we found each other, everything else would be easy, as it is in the fairy tales. But that, as it turned out, is not how it works. Anyone that loves you deeply and who you open your heart to, will shine a light so strong into the very essence of who you are, that everything that is not in alignment with this light will come up to the surface to be healed. When that happens, our fairy-tale dream is shattered into a million pieces, and many of us then leave our partner in search of a better one, thinking that when we find the ‘right’ one we will get our ‘happy-forever-after’ ending.

Love is a choice

If, however, we decide to own up to the wounds that are surfacing – instead of running away from them – we get a chance to experience the true miraculous healing power of love. But in order to experience that miracle, we have to make love our choice. Can love really be a choice? Absolutely, because you get to choose how you want to perceive what is happening in your life. You can choose to perceive life through the eyes of love, or you can choose to perceive it through the eyes of, well, not love, but rather doubt, fear, worry, negativity, anxiety, judgement, condemnation, blame and bitterness. It sounds so obvious, but of course in reality it can take time to finally understand that we do choose what we want to focus on, and through our focus we create completely different realities.

Once I woke up to the realisation that everything I experience is my choosing – because I choose how I want to perceive what is happening – then my relationship with life totally changed.

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Two parallel universes

I realised that in each moment I had two doors to choose from, leading into two parallel universes. As spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson says, ‘in one of those two parallel universes, you experience a world where everything is random and chaotic, and you’re at the mercy of what occurs outside of you. The other universe can’t be experienced by the physical senses, as it is a universe in which some invisible force is keeping things in order. It’s not a random, chaotic universe, instead it’s a miraculous universe, where relationships heal and people forgive each other.’

Depending on which door I opened, I would either step into a universe filled with doubt, negativity and conflict, or a universe filled with love, forgiveness and miracles. When love traps us in its magical sparkle and causes us to fall in love with each other, it knows this love will reach deep within our hearts to areas we have closed off, to deep inner wounds we have tried to cover up, and as this love reaches into these numb areas it will appear as if our relationship is getting worse. But it isn’t, instead it’s healing – it’s actually in a healing crisis – and if we can just stay committed to making love our choice, this healing crisis will run its course allowing a deep transformation to take place so the relationship can evolve into its highest divine potential.

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Moving from falling in love to actually being love is a bit like
how the caterpillar transforms into
a butterfly

Transforming into a butterfly

Moving from falling in love to actually being love is a bit like how the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. A caterpillar is happy just soaking up as much nourishment as it possibly can, and then it suddenly feels an urge to encase itself inside a cocoon where it gets kind of stuck. Should it here start to panic, thinking something is wrong, the experience would be quite unpleasant. But the caterpillar trusts the process, and stays inside the cocoon as long as is needed for it to transform into a beautiful butterfly.

It is the same with our relationships. When we fall in love we are deeply nourished, allowing love to reach inside our hearts, where it finds everything that is unlike itself and brings it up to the surface. As that happens we can start to feel disappointed, as it seems as if our previous fairy tale has gone. We are suddenly ‘trapped’ inside a cocoon where all our deep hurt and wounds start to rise up, but instead of realising this is love’s miraculous transformative power at work, causing our ‘stuff ’ to come up to be healed, we think it is something wrong with the relationship, or with our partner. But if we can just have faith that something miraculous is taking place, if we can have the same trust as the caterpillar does that there is an invisible force guiding us forward towards the manifestation of the next best thing – if we can relax in knowing that – then our relationship will eventually have transformed so much inside the cocoon that suddenly it has become a stunning butterfly. And the butterfly is us, transformed, into a more loving, wise being.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship itself will last, because that is not the highest purpose of a relationship – every relationship will change form at some point – instead the highest purpose of each relationship is to help us become more loving, more compassionate and more filled with light, so we can be better aligned with our true nature.

Nature has embedded within
it this natural movement towards expansion

True love expands us

Nature has embedded within it this natural movement towards expansion. A caterpillar doesn’t start to panic or try to exit as it enters this deep transformation process, whilst you and I might start to listen to our minds conjuring up all sorts of negative thoughts and reasons why there is something wrong with what is happening. But this is just our ego talking (the part of us that feels separate from everyone else). The ego’s motto when it comes to love is ‘search for love, but never find it,’ because when the ego finally finds true love it will find faults with it, making sure we won’t recognise real love when it actually enters our life. Why does the ego do this? Because to the ego, love is scary, as love expands us, connecting us with our divine soul; where there is no ego, there is no separation.

Becoming our most loving selves

When we trust love’s transformative power, we become conduits to this invisible force that lifts all of life to its highest manifestation possible in each moment – including our relationships.

Every relationship has embedded within it its highest potential for the most healing expression of love that it can possibly evolve into.

When we choose to let this higher intelligence move through us, which literally means we are letting love move through us, then we infuse our relationship with a magical elixir that helps us view the other person – and ourselves – through our spiritual eyes, instead of our physical eyes.

This helps us see the light in the other person, it helps us trust that everything that happens in our lives helps us to evolve – events are not happening to us, but for us – and as we perceive this, we come to realise that every meeting is a holy encounter where we either get to share our love, or get to notice the areas within us where our love has not yet reached.

Our choice

When we choose to express love, when we choose to forgive, when we choose to be compassionate, when we choose to see the goodness in the other person, and in ourselves, then we are immediately uplifted to a higher energy and we can feel it. It feels great! It’s like we are coming home to ourselves, which of course is what is happening, because we are coming home to the eternal truth of our soul, which is that you and I are both beings of love, and in that love there is no separation, just oneness.

When we instead choose to open the door leading into the other universe, our energy gets lowered, and we become more negative, anxious, judgemental and worried. The key thing to remember here is that every thought and every action has an effect, so when we engage in negative thinking we’ll get to experience the consequences of our thinking. This is not to punish us, but to help us awaken to the fact that we are now ‘miscreating’ with our ego’s fearful energy – which will cause us pain and conflict. When we are finally ready to act in a different way, we will wake up to the realisation that hey, we can choose the other door!

By choosing the door of love, we step into a universe where we feel positive, uplifted, forgiving, compassionate and loving, and  life seems to be filled with miracles and synchronicities. Because our thinking and actions now are infused with love, this leads to positive consequences and we get to experience those effects of our thinking. This is when we are creating with our soul’s loving energy, and it is here we become co-creators with the divine.

Setting the tone for the day

My mind is very active, and because my thoughts come so thick and fast I can quickly spin down in a negative spiral, getting caught in my ego’s fear-based thinking … or I can fly upwards in a positive celebration of life, where I listen to my soul’s loving voice. To help me make love my choice, I have found that I have to exercise my spiritual muscles every morning – by meditating, praying, practising yoga and chanting mantras, and by listening to uplifting seminars from spiritual teachers such as Esther Hicks, Marianne Williamson, Gabrielle Bernstein, Byron Katie and Neale Donald Walsch. This helps me connect with my soul’s loving energy, which sets the tone for the day, and then it is easier for me to live in a loving and miraculous universe – even when life brings me ‘problems’, because now I have love as my guide to help me find a spiritual solution to any situation that occurs. If I don’t meditate and pray, I end up getting caught in negativity and problems. So I have learnt that it is my choice which door I open: the one that leads into a fear-based universe, or the one that takes me into a miraculous universe where I am a co-creator with the divine.

Today I choose to live in a miraculous universe