Albert Einstein said, ‘There are two ways of living your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle,
the other is as though everything is a miracle.’
But how can we make that choice?
Many years ago I remember saying to a friend, ‘Will I ever find someone to share my life with?’ I was certain the love train had left my station for good and would never stop there again, as I thought I was now too old ever to meet anyone. I was 28.
Looking back it seems silly, but then the fear was so overpowering it totally consumed me. Four years earlier I had begun a journey of spiritual awakening, releasing layers and layers of fears surrounding love, but yet again I found myself alone. My friend gave me a hug, and said reassuringly, ‘You’ll meet him one day, you’ll see.’ I wasn’t sure she was right, but I decided to believe that miracles could indeed happen, so I let go of my doubt and instead trusted that the universe knew how to make my wish come true, even if I didn’t. Then I went on with living my life.
A few months later I met him. I knew from the beginning that he was ‘the one’. I know it sounds weird, but I did have a voice inside my head saying, ‘That’s your husband.’ We were soon married, with a baby on the way; and life has never been quite the same ever since. That was in 1996.
What I didn’t realise, though, back then when I was 28, was that the easy part is actually finding your soulmate; the harder part is doing the healing that takes place once they enter inside your heart. I used to think that if I healed myself enough then I would attract ‘the one’ into my life, and from that day on we would live happily ever after. I thought that once we found each other, everything else would be easy, as it is in the fairy tales. But that, as it turned out, is not how it works. Anyone that loves you deeply and who you open your heart to, will shine a light so strong into the very essence of who you are, that everything that is not in alignment with this light will come up to the surface to be healed. When that happens, our fairy-tale dream is shattered into a million pieces, and many of us then leave our partner in search of a better one, thinking that when we find the ‘right’ one we will get our ‘happy-forever-after’ ending.
Love is a choice
If, however, we decide to own up to the wounds that are surfacing – instead of running away from them – we get a chance to experience the true miraculous healing power of love. But in order to experience that miracle, we have to make love our choice. Can love really be a choice? Absolutely, because you get to choose how you want to perceive what is happening in your life. You can choose to perceive life through the eyes of love, or you can choose to perceive it through the eyes of, well, not love, but rather doubt, fear, worry, negativity, anxiety, judgement, condemnation, blame and bitterness. It sounds so obvious, but of course in reality it can take time to finally understand that we do choose what we want to focus on, and through our focus we create completely different realities.
Once I woke up to the realisation that everything I experience is my choosing – because I choose how I want to perceive what is happening – then my relationship with life totally changed.
Two parallel universes
I realised that in each moment I had two doors to choose from, leading into two parallel universes. As spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson says, ‘in one of those two parallel universes, you experience a world where everything is random and chaotic, and you’re at the mercy of what occurs outside of you. The other universe can’t be experienced by the physical senses, as it is a universe in which some invisible force is keeping things in order. It’s not a random, chaotic universe, instead it’s a miraculous universe, where relationships heal and people forgive each other.’
Depending on which door I opened, I would either step into a universe filled with doubt, negativity and conflict, or a universe filled with love, forgiveness and miracles. When love traps us in its magical sparkle and causes us to fall in love with each other, it knows this love will reach deep within our hearts to areas we have closed off, to deep inner wounds we have tried to cover up, and as this love reaches into these numb areas it will appear as if our relationship is getting worse. But it isn’t, instead it’s healing – it’s actually in a healing crisis – and if we can just stay committed to making love our choice, this healing crisis will run its course allowing a deep transformation to take place so the relationship can evolve into its highest divine potential.
Moving from falling in love to actually being love is a bit like
how the caterpillar transforms into
Transforming into a butterfly
Moving from falling in love to actually being love is a bit like how the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. A caterpillar is happy just soaking up as much nourishment as it possibly can, and then it suddenly feels an urge to encase itself inside a cocoon where it gets kind of stuck. Should it here start to panic, thinking something is wrong, the experience would be quite unpleasant. But the caterpillar trusts the process, and stays inside the cocoon as long as is needed for it to transform into a beautiful butterfly.
It is the same with our relationships. When we fall in love we are deeply nourished, allowing love to reach inside our hearts, where it finds everything that is unlike itself and brings it up to the surface. As that happens we can start to feel disappointed, as it seems as if our previous fairy tale has gone. We are suddenly ‘trapped’ inside a cocoon where all our deep hurt and wounds start to rise up, but instead of realising this is love’s miraculous transformative power at work, causing our ‘stuff ’ to come up to be healed, we think it is something wrong with the relationship, or with our partner. But if we can just have faith that something miraculous is taking place, if we can have the same trust as the caterpillar does that there is an invisible force guiding us forward towards the manifestation of the next best thing – if we can relax in knowing that – then our relationship will eventually have transformed so much inside the cocoon that suddenly it has become a stunning butterfly. And the butterfly is us, transformed, into a more loving, wise being.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship itself will last, because that is not the highest purpose of a relationship – every relationship will change form at some point – instead the highest purpose of each relationship is to help us become more loving, more compassionate and more filled with light, so we can be better aligned with our true nature.
Nature has embedded within
it this natural movement towards expansion
True love expands us
Nature has embedded within it this natural movement towards expansion. A caterpillar doesn’t start to panic or try to exit as it enters this deep transformation process, whilst you and I might start to listen to our minds conjuring up all sorts of negative thoughts and reasons why there is something wrong with what is happening. But this is just our ego talking (the part of us that feels separate from everyone else). The ego’s motto when it comes to love is ‘search for love, but never find it,’ because when the ego finally finds true love it will find faults with it, making sure we won’t recognise real love when it actually enters our life. Why does the ego do this? Because to the ego, love is scary, as love expands us, connecting us with our divine soul; where there is no ego, there is no separation.
Becoming our most loving selves
When we trust love’s transformative power, we become conduits to this invisible force that lifts all of life to its highest manifestation possible in each moment – including our relationships.
Every relationship has embedded within it its highest potential for the most healing expression of love that it can possibly evolve into.
When we choose to let this higher intelligence move through us, which literally means we are letting love move through us, then we infuse our relationship with a magical elixir that helps us view the other person – and ourselves – through our spiritual eyes, instead of our physical eyes.
This helps us see the light in the other person, it helps us trust that everything that happens in our lives helps us to evolve – events are not happening to us, but for us – and as we perceive this, we come to realise that every meeting is a holy encounter where we either get to share our love, or get to notice the areas within us where our love has not yet reached.
When we choose to express love, when we choose to forgive, when we choose to be compassionate, when we choose to see the goodness in the other person, and in ourselves, then we are immediately uplifted to a higher energy and we can feel it. It feels great! It’s like we are coming home to ourselves, which of course is what is happening, because we are coming home to the eternal truth of our soul, which is that you and I are both beings of love, and in that love there is no separation, just oneness.
When we instead choose to open the door leading into the other universe, our energy gets lowered, and we become more negative, anxious, judgemental and worried. The key thing to remember here is that every thought and every action has an effect, so when we engage in negative thinking we’ll get to experience the consequences of our thinking. This is not to punish us, but to help us awaken to the fact that we are now ‘miscreating’ with our ego’s fearful energy – which will cause us pain and conflict. When we are finally ready to act in a different way, we will wake up to the realisation that hey, we can choose the other door!
By choosing the door of love, we step into a universe where we feel positive, uplifted, forgiving, compassionate and loving, and life seems to be filled with miracles and synchronicities. Because our thinking and actions now are infused with love, this leads to positive consequences and we get to experience those effects of our thinking. This is when we are creating with our soul’s loving energy, and it is here we become co-creators with the divine.
Setting the tone for the day
My mind is very active, and because my thoughts come so thick and fast I can quickly spin down in a negative spiral, getting caught in my ego’s fear-based thinking … or I can fly upwards in a positive celebration of life, where I listen to my soul’s loving voice. To help me make love my choice, I have found that I have to exercise my spiritual muscles every morning – by meditating, praying, practising yoga and chanting mantras, and by listening to uplifting seminars from spiritual teachers such as Esther Hicks, Marianne Williamson, Gabrielle Bernstein, Byron Katie and Neale Donald Walsch. This helps me connect with my soul’s loving energy, which sets the tone for the day, and then it is easier for me to live in a loving and miraculous universe – even when life brings me ‘problems’, because now I have love as my guide to help me find a spiritual solution to any situation that occurs. If I don’t meditate and pray, I end up getting caught in negativity and problems. So I have learnt that it is my choice which door I open: the one that leads into a fear-based universe, or the one that takes me into a miraculous universe where I am a co-creator with the divine.
“Today I choose to live in a miraculous universe”